Wednesday, January 26, 2011

Like Noah I built my ark, but the floods never came.


  1. Better safe than sorry I guess :). I would rather have an ark and no flood than a flood and no ark.

  2. Open the gates of the ark, and be thankful that the flood never came. But I guess the hard part is opening the gates...

  3. I found this one funny. and wise.

  4. "Like Noah I built my ark, but the floods never came." Nice one! I like it, & its got that zing to it that you can't shake of.

  5. Nice...but I did and my ark was swamped and sank....

  6. and when flood really came, my ark did not work.

  7. Or, rather, the flood hasn't come YET. :)

  8. Naoh was either scientist who understood global warming or a pessimist who just got lucky.

  9. You know what... I wish I had the fortitude to build myself an ark! Forget the floods part :) Thanks.

  10. For Noah, the floods came. What can one say?

  11. Maybe the flood came in a way that very hard to recognize,haha

  12. I'm still making payments on mine and trying to feed all these @#/** animals by opening a zoo.

  13. But did you wait for God's instruction first?

  14. Hi, there's a proverb: "An ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure".

  15. then you can totally go back to being a drunk, like Noah.

  16. NP, on the subject of Noah and his arc you might enjoy this. It's a bit long but quite amusing. :-)

    And God said unto Noah, Make thee an ark of gopher wood; rooms shalt thou make in the
    ark, and the length of the ark shall be 300 cubits. And of every living thing of all flesh, two of every sort shalt thou bring into the ark, to keep them alive with thee.

    And Noah said, Sign here, and leavest Thou a deposit.

    And the Lord signed there, and left He a deposit.

    And Noah was 600 years old when the flood of waters was upon the earth.

    And the Lord said unto Noah, Where is the ark, which I commanded thee to build?

    And Noah said unto the Lord, Verily, I have had three carpenters off ill. The gopher wood
    supplier hath let me down - yea, even though the gopher wood hath been on order for nigh
    upon 12 months. The damp-course specialist hath not turned up. What can I do, O Lord ?

    And God said unto Noah, I want that ark finished even after seven days and seven nights.

    And Noah said, It will be so.

    And it was not so.

    And the Lord said unto Noah, What seemeth to be the trouble this time?

    And Noah said unto the Lord, Mine sub-contractor hath gone bankrupt. The pitch which
    Thou commandest me to put on the outside and on the inside of the ark hath not arrived,
    and the plumber hath gone on strike.

    Noah rent his garments and said, The glazier departeth on holiday to Majorca - yea, even
    though I offerest him double time. Shem, my son, who helpeth me on the ark side of the
    business hath formed a pop group with his brothers Ham and Japheth. Lord, I am undone.

    And God said in his wrath, Noah, do not thou mucketh Me about. The end of all flesh is
    come before me; for the Earth is filled with violence through them; and behold, I will
    destroy them with the Earth. How can I destroy them with the earth if thou art incapable of
    completing the job that thou was contracted to do?

    And Noah said, Lo, the contract will be fulfilled.

    And Lo, it was not fulfilled.

    And Noah said unto the Lord, The gopher wood is definitely in the warehouse. Verily, and
    the gopher wood supplier waiteth only upon his servant to find the invoices before he
    delivereth the gopher wood unto me.

    And the Lord grew angry and said, Scrubbeth thou round the gopher wood. What about
    the animals? Of fowls after their kind, and of cattle after their kind, of every creeping thing of the Earth after his kind two of every sort have I ordered to come unto thee, to keep them alive. Where for example, are the giraffes?

    And Noah said unto the Lord, They are expected today.

    And the Lord said unto Noah, How about the unicorns?

    And Noah wrung his hands and wept, saying, Lord, Lord, they are a discontinued line.
    Thou canst not get unicorns for love nor money.

    And God said, Come thou, Noah, I have left with thee a deposit, and thou hast signed a
    contract. Where are the monkeys, and the bears, and the hippopotami, and the elephants,
    and the zebras and the hartebeests, two of each kind; and of fowls also of the air by
    sevens, the male and the female?

    And Noah said unto the Lord, They have been delivered unto the wrong address, but
    should arriveth on Friday; all save the fowls of the air by sevens, for it hath just been told unto me that fowls of the air are sold only in half-dozens.

    And God said unto Noah, Thou hast not made an ark of gopher wood, nor hast thou lined it
    with pitch within and with-out; and of every living thing of all flesh, two of every sort hastthou failed to bring into the ark. What sayest thou, Noah?

    And Noah kissed the Earth and said, Lord, Lord, thou knowest in thy wisdom what it is likewith delivery dates.

    And the Lord in his wisdom said, Noah, my son, I knowest. Why else dost thou think I have
    caused a flood to descend upon the Earth?

  17. But why should Noah's destiny be yours?

  18. Well my flood came receded, and my ark was still a float. Now what I don't know is when did I build it in the first place. I think our arks are inside us and the floods come and go in life, but are internal rock holds us steady. Thanks Be well

  19. Just wait! There's rumor going around you may get to use in December 2012...Or whenever the next end of the world is scheduled...

  20. Kinda reminds me of people I know who sit in their car wearing a seat belt, with the engine off.