I am my greatest advocate and I am my worst critic. Without stepping back and looking at ourselves from a different perspective, we can not see ourselves clearly. Feeling sorry for ourselves comes from lack of perspective.
When we grieve we cry for our loss and how it will impact your life. When we fail we cry for ourselves its not exactly self-pity. Self-pity is self-serving it is used as a reason you can't succeed or be happy. Sadness can turn into self-pity as it is a great excuse for not having to try. People move on from sadness.
It is certainly an interesting way to think about it, and I think it is probably more often true than I would have admitted before. Yes, when we grieve for a lost loved one, I think that is largely for our own loss - for the pain it causes us as individuals. But I have also certainly experienced deep sadness that has nothing to do with me directly. A news story of a child killed, for instance, can make me cry, without ever having met the child or their family. It does not directly effect me, but the sadness is present.
This is something I have struggled with all my life. A lot of sadness is genuinely based on feeling others’ pain. This is just my perspective but I had to learn that it is alright to hurt; the healing process only starts when you allow yourself to acknowledge and accept it. I agree that some pain is born out of self-pity but in many cases it is more than justified.
I would agree is you say "some of sadness".
ReplyDeleteI am my greatest advocate and I am my worst critic. Without stepping back and looking at ourselves from a different perspective, we can not see ourselves clearly. Feeling sorry for ourselves comes from lack of perspective.
ReplyDeleteYou are so true!!
ReplyDeleteEpsita@ epsita.blogspot.com
True it is, in the sense that sadness is merely a manifestation of our dissonance with other beings and processes not in our control.
ReplyDeleteIt took me a bit, I was resisting the message, but after quite a bit of thought, I agree it is true.
ReplyDeleteGood one.
So true!
ReplyDeleteWhen we grieve we cry for our loss and how it will impact your life. When we fail we cry for ourselves its not exactly self-pity. Self-pity is self-serving it is used as a reason you can't succeed or be happy. Sadness can turn into self-pity as it is a great excuse for not having to try. People move on from sadness.
ReplyDeleteIt is certainly an interesting way to think about it, and I think it is probably more often true than I would have admitted before. Yes, when we grieve for a lost loved one, I think that is largely for our own loss - for the pain it causes us as individuals. But I have also certainly experienced deep sadness that has nothing to do with me directly. A news story of a child killed, for instance, can make me cry, without ever having met the child or their family. It does not directly effect me, but the sadness is present.
ReplyDeleteThis is something I have struggled with all my life. A lot of sadness is genuinely based on feeling others’ pain. This is just my perspective but I had to learn that it is alright to hurt; the healing process only starts when you allow yourself to acknowledge and accept it. I agree that some pain is born out of self-pity but in many cases it is more than justified.
ReplyDeletePs: as always you have us questioning our concept of ‘self’ – you are indeed a true philosopher
ReplyDeleteI agree with this aphorism. It's also a difficult thing to surpass self pity.
ReplyDeleteThis is so true and I always have to pick myself up when I start to have a self-pity party! No joy in self-pity, that’s for sure.
ReplyDelete